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by Dr. K. Kuhathasan CEO, Centre for Leadership Excellence and Personality Development

Soft skills are skills relating to people issues. They are equally important, like the technical skills. These are the skills that make clients and customers feel happy as well as keep them loyal.

Technology, customer-driven markets, an information-based economy and globalisation calls for an increased reliance on, and demand for, soft skills. Many employees today look for a set of skills that are often developed on cross-functional assignments. These are termed as soft skills. "Soft" skills include oral communication, written communication, critical and lateral thinking skills, and the development of an overall sense of the "big picture."

Soft Skills are the essential skills that all employees must develop in order to achieve success in the workplace. Be it a CEO of a company, an HR executive, manager, counsellor or an ordinary employee, all must master these skills.

Among others, the following are considered as the key soft skills.

Excellent communication skills; Excellent interpersonal skills; High level of drive and determination; Think effectively at strategic level; Able to initiate and manage change; Proven ability to lead; Good negotiator; Motivating team builder; Dynamic with a real sense of urgency; Strong presence; Inspirational manager; Capable of thinking laterally; Creative in style; Ability to create win/win deals.

Communication skills

The ability to communicate in a clear, concise and unambiguous manner is essential for good interpersonal relations and efficient functioning of any organisation. It is important for leaders and managers to develop communication skills so that they get things done from answering the phone, to writing e-mails to putting together a proposal - how well you put your point across will affect others' perceptions of your abilities. You have to make sure that each interaction paints an intelligent picture of yourself.

Lobbying

Lobbying is the process of generating support for a point of view in advance of a meeting at which a decision is to be taken. People are more inclined to stick with a view that they take with them into a meeting than they are to be won over by something they hear in the course of it. Your confidence will be boosted if you are able to go there knowing that you can count on the support of a number of those present.

Networking

Networking is an essential Soft skill. It has become more important as organisations and ways of working have changed. It is no longer enough to know who is directly above and below you, or even on a par with you. To be effective you need to be able to draw on contacts from a wide spectrum, across the entire organisation and beyond it. As organisations have de-layered, re-engineered, flattened and in many cases disintegrated into individual business units, getting things done is no longer just a case of issuing order. To make things happen you have to know the right people.

Building Trust

When you trust somebody, you hold the belief that he or she won't exploit, cheat or use you in any way. You can rely on trusted people to do what they say they are going to do. You can share information in the knowledge that it will not be misused. Trust is the cornerstone of interpersonal relationships. A workplace in which there is a high level of trust is one where colleagues can feel secure and where genuine teamwork and cooperation can flourish. On the other hand, mistrust creates uncertainty, conflict and reduced individual confidence. Trust is a fragile thing. It can take a long time to build and a moment to destroy, and often it is the small things that knock holes in our trust.

Persuasiveness

We have to influence someone to do what we want them do do (eg. - a salesperson trying to persuade a buyer or a negotiator trying to persuade another negotiator). You may not consider yourself as either a salesperson or a negotiator but you are a persuader nonetheless. Think how often you have an idea that you need to 'sell' to your boss or to colleagues. Think how often, say in a meeting or discussion, you have a point of view that you want to persuade other people to agree with or adopt. The plain fact is that in most of your interactions with other people you are seeking to excert some influence - to persuade.

Teamwork

In today's corporate world, there's no room for egos. Being a good team member means putting the good of the team ahead of any personal ambitions and agendas. It means respecting others' opinions, hearing people out and involving everyone in finding solutions to problems. As you start out, the easiest way to get recognised is by being a good team member.

Flexibility

Good working relationships are like bridges: if they don't allow for some movement then they collapse. The person who always has to be right or always has to come out as winner will not be too successful. You need to know when to overlook failings and as when to accept less than you might have been seeking. That doesn't mean you always have to compromise your own views or wind up with solutions that merely represent the least unattractive options. But you should ensure that other people's needs and points of view are fully taken into account and that decisions are not dictated by ego.

Counselling

Counselling is a help provided by managers to the subordinates in analysing their performance and on-the-job behaviour so as to improve their performance. It's a trusting and supportive superior subordinate relationship. In other words, counselling enables an individual to take responsibilities by helping him/her to overcome his/her worries and hopes and resolve difficulties.

Thus, it helps eliminate emotional disequilibrium created among people, removes all barriers and stumbling blocks to effective performance and relieves the subordinate of emotional tension.

Understanding the difference

In our private lives we are able to seek out friends and partners whose personalities, interests and views correspond with our own, but at work there is a greater likelihood of finding ourselves bound together with people of a different outlook. However, the fact that people look at life from wholly different perspectives does not have to be a reason for gnashing of teeth. Handled properly it can be team, strength. So celebrate diversity, play to people's strengths and never assume you know what others are thinking.

Expectations of others should abide by the same conditions as those you set for yourself. They should be realistic and achievable, recognising that mistakes happen from time to time. People will tend to perform to your expectations. Value them and expect a positive contribution and you will generally be rewarded.

Empathy

Empathy is important because it enables us to understand how other people are: what makes them tick, how their worlds work, what matters to them. It is also through empathy, and empathy alone, that you will really find a way to deal with your difficult people.

Influencing skills

Influencing effectively is the one core skill that every leader and manager needs. In a business environment, there is no other skills that so clearly defines that competent from the merely average or outright disastrously inept performer. For instance, you can be a brilliant strategist, but what use is that if you can't persuade people to accept your strategic ideas? You may be capable of being a terrific financial controller, but the skill will remain notional if you can't persuade people to follow your protocols.

Influencing is also a core life skill. If you have it, you will be able to manage most of the challenges that your business and personal life presents.

Receiving criticism confidently

The first step in handling criticism in a confident manner is to remove the notion what it represents an attack on all that you stand for. While that assumption is in place you are likely to react inappropriately. Certainly, some criticism will be unjustified or vindictive, but you can only judge its validity by listening dispassionately and removing anger and emotion from our response. If you can do this, you will be in a better position to respond assertively to negative criticism and to draw the useful lessons form constructive criticism.

Pleasant manners

Manners in general, spring from our consideration for others. Even in a business context, manners are another name for kindness, tact and self-respect. In some people, this consideration for others is innate but in many of us it has to be inculcated. In a business context, the lack of it shows up the most in our treatment of subordinates. Some people believe that it is unnecessary for a superior to be polite to his subordinate and that a curt, aggressive manner can be useful in business. But this is far from the truth. Good manners oil the wheels of our daily contacts with other human beings, thereby reducing friction.

Negotiating

Formal negotiating usually involves a trade union or other representative body. While it may be perfectly amicable, it may still involve hard bargaining. It might encompass wide-ranging issues such as annual pay agreements. working practices or introducing new technology.

Commercial bargaining is about making business deals. For example, negotiating a new contract with a supplier, completing an important sale, agreeing a takeover, all involve commercial bargaining skills.

Negotiating skills

A quick mind; A strong reserve of patience; An ability to conceal without lying; A capacity to inspire trust; Assertiveness at key moments and self-effacement at other times.

Decision making

Manager make decisions because they are constantly either responding to change or initiating it. A decision is only necessary if: There are two or more possible outcomes; Some value or importance is attached to the outcomes; The actual outcomes differ in some way.

Decision-making is fundamentally about choice. Without a choice you need make no decision. Similarly, if there is no real difference between the final outcomes, choosing hardly matters either.

In the wider context of the organisation's future, your managerial decision making is a way for you to excel, to stand out from those with whom you are competing. When you understand your organisation's strategic intent, what it aspires to be, you can place all decisions in a powerful perspective.

Problem solving

Every day we encounter problematic situations which cause some degree of uncertainty or difficulty in achieving the outcome we want. Resolving these situations is commonly called problem solving. It involves skills which play a fundamental role in our work, social and private lives.

People who are good at solving problems adapt more quickly in times of rapid change, they make better use of their knowledge and skills and are generally the high achievers. Problem-solving ability is therefore a major factor in determining personal success.

Listening

Listening solves mutual problems: it is ridiculous to disagree with someone until you understand their point of view.

Listening leads to cooperation: when people reckon they are important to you, they will be more inclined to respect you in return and cooperate with you.

Listening helps your decision-making: by listening to the experience and ideas of others, you improve your own judgement.

Listening builds your own confidence: the more you understand others, the more like you are to do and say things to which they will respond positively.

Listening prevents conflict: talking before listening leads to the foot-in-mouth experience we never forget. You have two ears and one mouth: take the hint.

Proposing

Think carefully about how you word a proposal and practise it on yourself or a colleague to gauge the effect before you actually say it. Again, the tweaking of the odd word can make the difference between it being accepted and being thrown back in your face.

Here are some basic points to remember:

Frame the proposal in the positive: in terms of what do you want rather than what you don't want.

Package the proposal so that is has a number of component parts which can be adjusted or negotiated if necessary.

Phrase your proposal in such a way that it sounds as if you are floating on objectively good idea and inviting the other side to join in.

Get your basic attitudes right

There are no 'difficult people' as such, but there are limits to our ability to deal with certain individuals. Certain difficult individuals may resemble difficult individuals but, like the rest of us, they are individuals first, second and third.

There are no irrational people, but there are limits to our ability and our desire to understand those who think differently from us. People always act rationally from their point of view.

People always do the best they can - with the personal resources (from their upbringing, education and experience) they have, and within the constraints their map of the world imposes on them. To change what they do, you may have to help them. 

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