The world was a tad shocked a few weeks back with Trump using coarse language about nations he called ‘sh.t..le countries,’ which made me wonder how a president could resort to such vulgarity.
“It is not vulgarity!” said a local congressman, “It shows how strong you are! How much muscle you have on your tongue!”
“You could meet his tongue specialist!” said a senator, “He knows all about good ole Donald’s tongue!”
Like all medical doctors, Trump’s tongue specialist was extremely busy, “Now everybody wants to develop those tongue muscles so they can speak like the president!” said the weary doctor, “and I have to show them the exercises!”
“Exercises?” I asked, and the doctor nodded.
“Like all exercising, you start small and slowly build!” he said. “Are you interested in speaking like the US president?”
“No!” I said, “Certainly not, but I’d like to know what muscles he developed that makes him talk this way?”
“First,” said the tongue doctor, going to a chart, with a picture of a tongue, “Start unlearning all that you were taught before! Now follow my tongue movements!”
I did what he was showing me.
“Do it a dozen times, then come and see me!”
I practiced the tongue exercise a dozen times and did another dozen for good measure then went back to the doctor, who wrote on a paper, “Try to say the word ‘please’!”
I tried and tried and then watched as the doctor laughed, “Now you will never be able to use that stupid word! Shall we get you to unlearn a few more words, like ‘thank you’ and ‘May I help you’?”
“No!” I said stiffly, “I’ve not come to become an impolite monster!”
“Oh you haven’t yet!” said the doctor with a smile, “After teaching your tongue to unlearn those words you’ve been so used to using, we then teach your tongue new movements!”
“New movements!” I echoed, “What else is there other than what it already knows to do!”
The tongue doctor smiled patiently, “Just say the word that Trump used to describe those countries!” he said. I tried, and tried, but the word did not come to my mouth.
“Now d’ you see!” said the doctor, “Ninety-nine percent of the world cannot, but with a few exercises done regularly, it will come as easily as it comes for the president!”
There was the sound of sirens and a limousine drew up, “It’s the president!” said the doctor.
“Has he come to learn a few more tongue exercises?” I asked eager to watch.
The doctor looked at me strangely, “Weren’t you aware?” he asked, “That this is Trump’s Trumpeting Tongue, Teaching and Training hospital! I am just an employee here!”
I watched later as the president took a class for trainee doctors..!
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