In my humble estimation Sri Lanka is actually the fruitcake capital of the World. Yes, we may have learnt our baking from the conquistadores, but as in most other endeavours we have surpassed them in the fine art of Christmas cake baking as well. I will mostly be differentiating between fruitcakes I know and fruitcakes that I have tasted. And I do know a heck of a lot people who appear nuttier than all the fruitcakes I have sunk my teeth into. Actually, the word ‘fruitcake’ is funny, so are some personages who appear a bit touched in the head.
For many people the edible variety of fruitcakes evokes memories of busy kitchens and the smell of preserved fruits and spices in the air.
For all Sri Lankans, fruitcake has been one of the homemade specialties that they look forward to every year and at weddings. Fruitcake is exactly what it sounds like - cake made with lots of chopped candied or dried fruit. It also typically contains lots of nuts and spices. For some gourmands it is an addictive seasonal delicacy they refer to as “the icing on the cake.”
To be absolutely honest there was a time in my childhood that I really fancied fruitcake. That is because two of my aunts made the best darn Christmas cakes. As a matter of fact both aunt Therese and aunt Nanda conjured up the most delectable ribbon cakes and love cakes as well.
Not only did they all taste delicious but the aroma when they were on a baking binge just said it was Christmas! I always remember how those family matriarchs shopped and chopped and churned the ingredients and poured in a generous pint of alcohol to give it the right type of baptizing wallop and preservative flavour.
Yet, of all the totemic foods we eat during the seasonal holidays, none evokes more professed mixed feelings than Christmas cake. That is because it is heavy and cloying and too rich and sweet for the tastes of some people. As I said I liked fruitcake too though even the good ones are a bit too rich for a poor old soul such as I.
As Christmas approaches two schools of epicurean thought emerge in vociferous debate. They are those who love fruit cake and those who detest it. While fruitcake lovers rhapsodize about candied fruit and that rich combination of seasonal spices liberally laced with alcohol, the haters joke about the glazed fruit confection.
Rarely has a holiday treat polarized so many people! Some describe fruitcake as a delectable dense, fruit and nut-laden confection steeped in brandy. For others it is a tooth-chipping mass of inedible ingredients, giving new meaning to the phrase, “It’s better to give than to receive!” Christmas tradition elicits very strong responses. People either love fruitcakes or hate them, no middle ground.
My friend Collie says he’s fed up to his gullet with rich cake that lies churning in the pit of his stomach for days. He calls the rich cake yuletide atrocities which are wretched foil wrapped urban legends of despair. He suggests we should use them for other purposes, which are quite unprintable for a family newspaper. He looked a bit out of sorts during the season and was asked: “What’s eating you?” He answered: “A stomach-cake!”
But then there is my cousin Rafael who loved it as a youth, but as he grew older preferred to take the brandy straight and not savour its wallop in the cake. But now as a born-again fruitcake lover, his opinion is that the haters simply haven’t tried good fruitcake. So many different kinds exist that there’s bound to be a style suited to any taste. Almost all do contain alcohol to add a bit more spirit to its richness and flavour.
But somebody or lots of some bodies actually out there, must like it because, just like Santa, during the holidays fruitcake is everywhere. Let’s face it. As nutty as it may sound the fruitcake tradition has been around for hundreds of years in this neck of the woods. And which urban household dares not serve it to their visitors! As a result the custom of serving it appears to be unstoppable.
Love it or hate it, it is a Christmas classic. Even during the most austere times innovative Sri Lankan housewives somehow managed to churn out their traditional rich cake with substitute ingredients. Finding the proper ingredients during those harsh times was no piece of cake. The traditional Christmas cake of Sri Lanka is believed to be the richest and the most delectable of all seasonal confections of its kind. To tell you the truth as much as I like the rich cake I loathe the sickly overly sweet fruitless, nutless varieties which I have been offered this entire holiday season.
But when you run your obligatory gauntlet of seasonal visits be warned that refusing the rich cake is not going to be a cakewalk as the hostess insists that you have to at least give it a try and remind her how good it is. Now this is the time you are tempted to tell your hostess that she can have her cake and eat it too! The worst part of the holiday season is that even months after it has passed as long as the cake lasts every day becomes Fruitcake Day!But as cousin Rafael says, the only Fruit Cakes he knows and despises are certain political animals. The people who anoint them are those with really bad taste, he claims. So as you see the tray of goodies approach you, run for your lives! Because the fruitcakes are coming! And talk about certain recipes for disaster. Some of them really take the cake! I am usually an easy-going and tolerant person. But please don’t ever try to treat me with any more rich cake because I have had it up to here.
But seriously, folks, if anyone offers me any more Christmas cake, either good or bad, there is bound to be a breach of the law. Because to be sure I will be spending the New Year in prison for assault and battery with a deadly confection!
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