BLACKOUTS! | Daily News
The dark always turns on a romantic spark!

BLACKOUTS!

Night time certainly is conducive to romance. There is this indefinable romantic effect that the night and darkness bring to most individuals. It is soothing, for there is less exposure from prying eyes. It is as if more secrets are revealed when there is less darkness. It is usually in the night time that more revelations are kept as this brings more security and away from the eyes of the many. And of course the mystery and cover of night is more romantic than the blinding sun.

Besides the night sky or darkness can hide one’s many flaws, like a beard can hide a multitude of chins. That’s why the old saying, ‘Love is blind’ must have been conjured up in the dark. It could possibly have been invented when two or one of two unattractive couples began romancing. Try and remember why you ever thought candlelight and moonlight was remotely romantic.

Lots of people seek the cover of darkness to express their feelings of well, let’s say, intimacy and affection under the mantle of darkness even during daylight. That’s why infatuated teens look to make their first amorous move in a movie theatre.

This romantic attempt is treasured by high school students and adults who are in the mood alike. And let’s face it, sometimes, there’s just no better place to make out than in a dark, cool movie theatre, where there is a sensual feeling of closeness and anonymity.

No siree! I am not offering any advice on what to do in a darkened cinema hall. You have to learn to do it yourself. But all I can offer is this bit of advice for smitten young men and some horny ancient oldsters as well. That is before you make a move, you have to set the tone and make sure your partner is ready for lights, camera, action! Not necessarily in the action showing on the screen. And it would be advisable to choose a boring film while you get along with your own private thriller.

Yes, the dark, dear reader, the mysterious dark is where most people can make their private intentions public. Whispers in the dark whether in or outdoors makes for spine-tingling romantic suspense.

And you can get a charge even during a blackout or if the lights go out. For as long as there have been blackouts there has been an enduring belief when the lights cut out couples turn the romance on. As the legends go, major natural disasters and other events that keep people indoors are followed by increased births. That’s why we also have ‘blizzard babies,’ and ‘blackout babies.’

That study appears to support some seemingly conventional wisdom: During low-intensity natural disasters, couples are often stranded at home, with no power, and limited choices for how to spend their time.

Today the latest global fertility forecasts have a time-honoured tradition of linking power outages to sex surges. Some nine months after a blackout, according to conventional wisdom, the birth rate inevitably soars. Bewilderingly darkness and romance appear to be intrinsically linked. But particularly here in our neck of the woods outages can occur unexpectedly.

Do I have to actually explain what a blackout baby boom is? Well, so the story goes, when there is a major power outage, you end up with a lot of couples at home, in the dark. There’s no TV or radio, the computer goes on the blink – wink-wink – candlelight sheds its warm glow and romance takes its course.

The last big country-wide power failure in Sri Lanka was reported early morning on Monday September 28 in 2016 I believe.

According to the Chairman of the Ceylon Electricity Board, the island-wide blackout was caused by a system failure. Who cares about hydropower while damning the weather or dams that provide hydropower as the reason for the ensuing darkness.

The fact is that you are in the dark with nothing to do and that’s when couples are hit by a high voltage hanky-panky transmission. It’s an appealing idea though, touching on notions of romantic love and the quintessentially human belief that from such inconvenience can come a population explosion.

So by my calculation in December this year or early January next year or thereabouts it would seem logical that these couples will be giving birth to a profusion of blackout brats. Remember the staggered blackouts are countrywide. After all, in circumstances such as these what better form of recreation than procreation! With a glut of newborns on the way, the authorities might as well request the powers that be for additional funding to expand and remodel all state maternity hospitals.

Is it true? Oh, I don’t know, people say that it’s just an urban legend, but there will be a lot of unexpected parents with a due date around December who say otherwise! It’s a romantic idea anyway! Some also speculate that couples anticipating hours of confinement during an expected blackout might have been more likely to stock up on contraceptives. But I am guessing that come Christmastime we’re going to witness the biggest baby boom Sri Lanka has ever experienced in a long while.

Still, other funny things do happen in the dark. One of the funniest episodes I experienced was when a fuse blew at the Hong Kong Press Club. There was this nasty little middle-aged journo who had lost his bearings following a monumental binge.

He was seated on a barstool between a hulking bald-headed male New Zealand copy editor and a comely British woman feature writer.

When the lights went kaput he became even more disorientated. Standing tiptoe on the bar foot-rail he mistakenly planted a wet, frothy smooch on the bald napper of the male copy editor. Which simply goes to prove that when you are off target, a miss is as good as a mister? And who can ever forget the time when two smitten male rivals were sitting between a woman they both were head-over-heels with at a stage show.

As part of the dramatic opening sequence the hall was plunged into darkness. As the audience waited with breathless anticipation there came the woman’s voice amplified in the pin-drop silence of the pitch blackness. “Hey you, take your hand off my knee. No! Not you! You!

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