“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed, I get mad with anger.”
– Simone de Beauvoir-
Anger is an emotional state that we experience daily. It comes with thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in human beings. However, when it increases or becomes uncontrollable, it can result in disasters. Therefore, it’s important to understand anger and how to control it. This is all about anger and its management.
What is anger? Anger can be identified as a strong feeling that arises when something has gone wrong or when someone feels wronged. It is considered a sense of stress, frustration, and irritation. Generally, everyone experiences anger in different situations. It is a natural response to frustrating or difficult events. However, anger can become a problem when it goes beyond control, affecting an individual’s daily functioning and behaviour in their environment, especially when dealing with people. At its peak, the consequences of behaviour can be far beyond what is considered acceptable in society.
What are the characteristics of anger? Mainly, anger leads to two types of changes within individuals: biological and psychological. Biological changes can be recognized by increased energy levels, elevated blood pressure, higher body temperature, muscle tension, and heightened activation of hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline. External signs of anger include elevated voices, profuse sweating, increased palpitations, clenched jaws, dilated pupils, trembling, crying, and more.
What happens when anger goes beyond control? While anger is a natural human emotion, when it goes beyond control, it can lead to physical and mental complications. These complications may include depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, substance abuse, gastritis, and diabetes, among others.
How can we recognize high anger? Anger can manifest in various ways, often characterized by verbal outbursts (shouting), aggressive behaviours (hitting or breaking things), or physical reactions (sweating or trembling) in response to a particular situation.
What are the causes of anger? Anger can arise due to internal or external factors. It may be triggered by a physical incident, emotional hurt, someone’s agitated reaction, feelings of hurt, pain, threat, or any other event that prompts an individual to react in their own way.
Causes of Anger:
There are many different causes of anger, as it varies from person to person. Common reasons for anger can include loss, fear, lack of emotional support, addictions, and failures. Additionally, certain medical conditions like depression, bipolar disorder, and ADHD can also trigger anger in individuals.
Main Three Types of Anger:
Anger can be categorized into three main types based on an individual’s behaviour:
1. Passive-Aggressive Anger: Individuals experiencing this type of anger may feel angry, resentful, or frustrated but act neutral, pleasant, or even cheerful outwardly. They often express their anger indirectly, finding subtle ways to show their true feelings.
2. Assertive Anger: In this type of anger, individuals take control of their situation and address the specific issue or concern that is causing their anger. This approach is considered the most controlled way of expressing anger, as it aims to resolve conflicts and move towards a solution.
3. Openly Aggressive Anger: This type of anger involves direct, often aggressive, physical or verbal actions that can lead to harm to oneself or others. It includes behaviours such as aggression, harassment, blackmailing, blaming, yelling, arguing, sarcasm, and criticism.
How to Cope with Anger:
To effectively cope with anger, consider the following strategies:
1. Identify Your Triggers: Recognize what events or situations tend to trigger your anger. These triggers may include fatigue, noise, negative comments, or other stressors. Knowing your triggers can help you develop a plan to manage your anger when these situations arise.
2. Understand Warning Signs: Pay attention to the warning signs that indicate your anger is escalating. These signs may include high blood pressure, a flushed face, an elevated heartbeat, rapid breathing, or an urge to physically or verbally lash out. Recognizing these signs can serve as a signal to take steps to de-escalate your anger.
Remember that anger is a natural emotion but managing it in a healthy way is important for your well-being and the well-being of those around you.
To effectively manage anger, consider the following strategies:
1. Go Away from Triggers: When you identify your anger triggers, it’s often best to remove yourself from the situation. For example, if your boss unjustly blames you for something, and you start feeling angry and heated, taking a step back and leaving the immediate environment can help prevent the situation from escalating further.
2. Engage in Physical Activity: Regular physical activity, such as walking in the morning and evening, running, playing games, or hiking, can help maintain physical and mental balance. These activities can reduce anger and offer multiple other benefits for your overall well-being.
3. Practice Yoga and Mindfulness: Both yoga and mindfulness techniques are effective for anger control. Mindfulness encourages staying present and flexible in your thinking, which can help prevent losing control of your anger. Regular practice of yoga and mindfulness can contribute to better anger management.
4. Breathing Exercises: Deep breathing, counted breathing, and deep muscle relaxation techniques are valuable tools for anger management. Practicing these techniques with an understanding of how they work can be highly effective in calming your emotions.
5. Seek Professional Help: If you or someone you know struggles to control their anger, it is advisable to consult with a qualified mental healthcare professional for further assistance and guidance.
6. Respect Others’ Opinions: In a democratic society, it’s important to respect each other’s opinions, even when they differ from your own. Practice mindfulness, stay focused on facts, and think before reacting. Instead of responding with sarcasm, consider offering constructive criticism when discussing differing opinions.
These strategies, when applied consistently and thoughtfully, can help individuals better manage their anger and maintain healthier relationships and emotional well-being.
(The writer holds a BSc (Hons) in Counselling Psychology)
Nisal Rukshan
